Updated: Aug 7, 2020
Feels good to be writing again. Seems that I pick up the (laptop) pen whenever I start to deep dive into my inner self and the work that needs to be done. Usually whenever I’ve gone through a healing cycle I assume it’s going to be the last time I have to do so - I’m wrong and I’m happy about being wrong.
Life is peculiar, life is heartbreaking, it’s beautiful, it's magical, it's confusing, it's all we know. With a constant ride of emotions comes the reasons for those emotions to be triggered, whether happiness or reaching a complete pit of darkness. I’ve always said to myself ‘without the darkness, there would be no light.’ And, we only have to look at the sun and moon cycle to know how very true that is.
When we have our first encounter with an emotion, let’s take sadness for example. We aren’t that sure on how to deal with it properly, so naturally intwines anger, guilt, shame etc. Although we don’t want to ever have to revisit those feelings, we actually must for us to grow. It’s like going to the gym and working on your glutes for that big behind we are nowadays so pressured into having to make us feel and look sexy to others. Sidenote: your bum is beautiful, big, small, flat, lumpy, spotty, hairy. WEAR THE SHORTS, PUT ON THE LINGERIE, BECAUSE YOU ARE FINE AS HELL. So, in order to build that muscle and be able to lift heavier weights, we must keep repeating the same exercise BUT with variety to ensure we don’t get too used to one type of movement.
This applies when connecting with our emotions and allowing them to uproot and grow. Imagine you had only felt anger once in your life. Then, today something triggered you and made you feel angry. You wouldn’t know how to react because you wouldn’t recognise that feeling. But, once we are able to experience something multiple times, we are able to pick it apart and understand what parts of it are good for us and what parts of it are not. Which parts of it we want to take with us and which parts we want to leave behind.
If you are feeling a certain emotion, welcome it in, acknowledge it, understand what you want to gain from it. You can then start to process the pain and begin your journey in healing - and just like that, another lesson under your forever growing belt.
So, when we talk about doing inner self work for the 100th time this year, we must remember to praise ourselves for doing so. It’s not easy to revisit trauma, or be triggered by something, someone etc. This is a sign that our mind has become wiser (naturally so), and is ready to start building on the new path that now lies in front of us.
There is no shame in recovery, there is no shame in finding yourself more, there is no shame in taking a few steps back to find inner peace.
With these things being said, I want to share some bits I’ve learnt this week during my July’s recovery session. They are, to be honest, the same things I would have recommended during my last recovery mode, but this time they're resonating differently.
Learning to say no. I’m a people pleaser so I find this hard, but sometimes we have too much on our plate to add another side of chips, you feel me? Saying no is respecting your boundaries and allowing you to trust in your decision making.
Taking a step back. Or taking many steps back - because it can be hard to see the situation for what it is when you’re in the middle of it. Giving yourself time to process how you feel away from plans, people and environments is healthy.
Understanding you can’t change reactions. Everyone has their own story and you can’t expect people to react in the same way as you. People have their own traumas and triggers, which have nothing to do with you. So, try not to take it personally and either accept and move forward or accept and move on completely.
Timing is everything. We can’t control when traumas happen, when people walk in and out or when you are going through highs or lows. It’s so easy to beat ourselves up about things not being at the right time. Try and practice trusting in the timing and the flow of life, it will make things a little lighter and manageable.
Yoga heals the heart. Quite literally! Yoga not only keeps your body moving, but it keeps your sanity too. When we practise yoga we practise self love, self awareness and self respect. If you aren’t into it, give it a go! Nothing heals you quite like a beautiful flow. And, I think proof is in the pudding, so here are my favourite flows at the moment if you’re up for trying it: Morning Energising 30-min Yoga Flow with Cat Meffan Heart Chakra Balancing Flow with Andrew Sealy Yoga For Stress & Trauma Flow with Erin Sampson Movement Medicine Flow with Yoga with Adriene
Breathing is crucial. I mean obviously right? But, I’m talking about stopping and being aware of your breathing, whether through meditation or just taking a moment to be present in doing it. Here are some really incredible breathing techniques to try!
Grow at your own pace. We must remove this unhealthy pressure of having to ‘have it all together’ all of the time!!! Take your time and do what feels good for YOU.
Are you clenching your jaw? For real. I didn't realise how much I do this until I saw a post about this online. You've probably been doing it during this entire article. Time to unclench baby and release that stress!